I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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