3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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