I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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