If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize