I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
