For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
