I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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