actually, I'm a sock model
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
