Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
