It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
