I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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