You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i out mim tonsoeep
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize