when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
