margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
