his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
