Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
