Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
