false alarm. still invincible.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize