Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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