So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
