I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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