I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
