we're blogging at a bar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
