There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
