Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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