dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
