Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's the barista slut.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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