so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
