i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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