Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
