ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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