He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
