Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
