Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
