Nicole vs. Life
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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