i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
