How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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