He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize