ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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