So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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