When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
