im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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