So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
