I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
