so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
