I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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