After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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