i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
