I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
