I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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