Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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