So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
