3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
