Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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