guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
