I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
