But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
