There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
